Baseball and Amish Cheerleaders

I apologize to those about to read this. I was just feeling in a bit of a crazy mood. Hope it cracks other people up as much as it did me.

Man, the weather is nasty outside. It is something like 50 degrees, but it has been raining ALL DAY. So the ground is saturated and everything just looks wet, cold, and …well…nasty. To make matters worse, Jennifer has been fighting a cold all week. It seemed to hit the low point last night when she started sounding like she was going to hack up a lung. Yum. Best part is, we have an outdoor wedding to attend tomorrow. The good news is it appears that the weather should get better by tomorrow afternoon, and I’ve never known a weatherman to be wrong (cough).

So I heard that the World Series has been on this week. I wouldn’t know, since I don’t watch baseball. Now, I know some people will see this as slander, but I really don’t get it. I’ve seen a few games that I have liked, but in general, I feel like I am sitting around waiting for something exciting to happen. I must not be the only person that isn’t interested in baseball, because ratings of the World Series are down again. Seems like that’s been the same story every few years now.

Sticking with the subject of the World Series, my father-in-law and I have discussed that calling it “The World Series” seems a little grandiose. First, it is just the US and Canada, and last time I checked, there were a few more countries in the world. Calling it the “The American Series” would be a bit more accurate. I guess you rabid baseball fans are probably foaming at the mouth now, but its not like I said all baseball players are doping, pill poppers who think muscles are better than brains. Whoops, now I’ve done it.

By the way, my father-in-law is a fan of baseball and watches the World Series every year, lest you think his opinions are anything like mine. Somehow, we are able to set these differences aside. He’s nowhere near as big a fan as my brother-in-law Bryan. He and his wife actually keep stats on the games they watch for fun. Sounds like more fun than an Amish game of tackle football. Now THAT is a pro sport that would get some ratings….until people realize Amish are pacifist.

Amish line up and two players look in each other in the eyes
Jebediah: Brother Yoder, I believe thou shouldst fall over now lest I have to give thy a hurting.
Yoder: I fear thou willst not touch me, brother Jebediah, for I am burly as an Ox and swift as a deer.
Jebediah: Which reminds me, didst thou receive the bounty of venison I sent over to ye wife?
Ball is snapped
Yoder: I did brother. Tis fine mea…TUMPH…(ball hits Yoder in back of the head).

Doubt there would be many guys going to those games for the cheerleaders.

Bill: Did you see the bonnet on that one?
Tom: Yeah man, and check out the apron on her.
Bill: Sweeeeeeet…


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